what's the point of church?
community
everybody naturally seeks companionship in some way because of the way God designed us. ecclesiastes 4:10 says " If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." it's important that we as Christians intercede on each other's behalf, because though we have the Holy Spirit to help us, God knows we also need one another and He uses us to help each other. He wants us to hold one another accountable and enjoy one another's company. the bible says no temptation has seized us that is not common to man. (1 corinthians 10:13). this is meant to be an encouragement, it shows that not only are you not alone, but there are people who relate to you. when we surround ourselves with common community it helps keep us encouraged and sharpened in remembering we are never alone.
the call
one of the first things Jesus did as He began the journey of His ministry was call His disciples, who were to be the original apostles for the Christian church. when we go to church, we go to join together in honoring the Lord, building one another up, worshiping, and most importantly, being spiritually fed/discipled. we are all called to not only be disciples, but to MAKE disciples by spreading the gospel and making relationship with others to provide guidance. usually a pastor/minister speaks and is elected by God to be the one to exhort the body and protect the spiritual integrity of the body. this is why it's important to make sure to remain in a church that not only upholds the standards given in Paul's letters, but that is bible oriented and isn't just scripture-less motivational speaking all the time. if a body is not being matured spiritually and emotionally in Christ, the mission is being mishandled.
do i HAVE to go to church?
the short answer is no. it's not recommended to not go though. can you maintain any type of relationship with no communion? people always make sure to try and meet up with their friends at LEAST once a month or more just because that quality time together keeps their friendship strong. when you care about the quality of your community, you continue to invest time in it---not just for the sake of morality but because we all need reassurance, encouragement and advice. one thing all humans have in common rich, poor, old or young is we all struggle no matter what. we all need companionship no matter what. imagine being in a relationship where you only got together for special days and then kept no contact in between that. that's almost an estranged relationship. when you become reconciled with God, you 100% can spend time with Him in your alone time at home or on the road, or wherever really. but you can only get so far without community and guidance. plus, at the end of the day, the word says to not neglect it.
i was hurt badly at church, and I don't want to return.
first of all, I am really grieved to hear that. the Lord knows that there are people who mishandle authority/assignments. He knows that there are false teachers who are still preaching legalism (galatians 5: 5-10). He knows that there are people abusing authority and mishandling the call (jeremiah 23: 1-2). although that scripture is about a specific time in history, it still shows God's fury towards the disregard of His kingdom and the scattering of His children. Jesus has countless teaching's that prove to be against the character of such people. He knew/knows that there are plenty of people who claim His name but neglect His exhortations. hopefully this can be encouragement that God knows your pain and will vindicate it--in fact, He already has. His first commandment is love. He says to pray for and love your neighbors and enemies, because even HE shows mercy and love to those who don't necessarily deserve it (though none of us do). this shows how full of love God is. with this being said, hold accountable the individuals who committed the injustice. people can claim salvation and still be messed up--don't let that keep you from enjoying the company of people who look like Jesus or Jesus Himself. allow yourself the chance at healthy community.
how do i know what church to choose?
Paul has many letters regarding what the structure of a church should look like! I recommend 1st and 2nd timothy and 1st and 2nd corinthians (though all of his letters hold wisdom). however until then, green flags for a good church is one that invites the Holy Spirit, whether that's through worship, prayer, or teaching, it's important to be in a church that honors God's spirit and invites Him. others include the fact that the sermons have good doctrine, and the way to know this is by matching what the pastor is saying to scripture and seeing if it matches up. most importantly, a good church will always point you back to Christ, they won't manipulate you into being dependent on them or lead you astray into worldly ideals. They will have the fruits of the spirit (galatians 5: 22-23), for the word says that you will know them by their fruit! (matthew 7: 15-20). don't choose a church based off of vain ideas such as how big it is--just search for a place that welcomes you, wants to disciple you, and keeps you watered in your relationship with God.